Im closer than ever to diagnosis for my pelvis pain but while i wait for treatment, everyday my arthritis is slowly fucking up my spine and as positive as i try to be that is very much on my mind. I cant explain it, but knowing Im so close to pain treatment, i now feel extra guilt anytime I feel sorry for myself because there is a sunshine on the horizon. But every day I wake up and every inch of me is in pain, and I have no energy to look after myself or perform daily tasks. The colourful background represents the hope I genuinely feel at the prospect of having relief fro my pain this year, but days go by and my body gets more stiff.
I drew this hour glass to represent how i feel my time has been wasting away over the past few years. I have been told its ok to rest, but i have had enough of resting. I feel restless. The potential I know I have, is limited by my physical pain.
A skeleton is my favourite way to portray the human form, maybe because Im not skilled at drawing bodies yet, but also because simply we are all skeletons underneath our flesh sacks. As someone who has suffered with mental health issues and chronic pain for half my life, my connection to skulls and skeletons are part of that connection with my own body. Some people find representations of skulls to be morbid, but I find comfort in them, so much so I chose a skull to be the central part of my logo in 2012.
My illustration work is usually very bold, with graphic lines and strong colours. I sketch out my ideas first using the pencil tool in Procreate, and then outline with a thick marker. I drew rocks growing into my pelvis and spine to show the Ankylosing Spondylitis taking over my body as I wait for pain treatment. My head explodes with lava, frustration and tension as the hour glass is distorted.
For this particular drawing, when I was colouring the rocks, I realised the pencil could make a nice stone texture, and I really like how it turned out.
I chose to erase some of the lines up the spine connecting the rib cage and where the spine meets the pelvis to show what can happen with AS when the calcium build up causes your vertebrae and other joints.
I have since experimented with the drawing, as I plan my journey into quiltmaking, I think this would be a fitting design to try out in a new medium.