As a kid I never had my hair long because so many times i refused to brush it and my mum would have to take me to get it cut (usually a short bob with a fringe).
When I was at college and mum buzzed my undercut, my thick hair was much easier for me to take care of so I finally grew it really long.
For the past few years I have loved my hair touching my bum but it has gotten increasingly more difficult for me to look after myself in general. Twice a week my hair would turn into knotted mass, my aching hands and arms grew tired just attempting to brush it.
My debilitating physical health has made me struggle even more with taking care of myself day to day. The more I learn about ADHD i recognise these patterns in my behaviour since I was a child. The guilt and shame took over me and I broke down to my family. I showed them my knotted hair and called myself a rat (I would never in a million years say that to someone else). After that mum offered to cut my hair and it was a lightbulb moment which suddenly made so much sense.
Since then a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, even if i dont shower, my hair never gets knotted and its more manageable to comb. It was hard to say goodbye to my long hair, but i realised there was a lot of trauma within it and so letting go was just what i needed to do.